This is a reminder that all employees are to attend the meeting on Tuesday. We will be discussing battle plans and times for when we launch our attack on Technorgistical, Inc. As you all should know by now, Technorgistical, Inc. has successfuly raided our supply of yellow sticky notes. This leaves flowcharts without removable pieces, and Mort in Maintenance is slowly being exposed to his computer monitor as the old ones fall off, one by one. Let's not have a repeat of the last time Mort was exposed to technology, shall we? Our health insurance costs went through the roof.
If you work in Deliveries, please bring a box cutter suitable for close combat. We will be holding training sessions immediately after the meeting. Anyone who has a stapler is welcome to attend.
Remember, this meeting is mandatory. Any employee not in attendance will be assumed to be a traitor, and will be ritually sacrificed to keep the copy machine working.
-Management
PS: Could someone please replace the toner cartridge in the copy machine? This may help cut down on sacrifice-related deaths.
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